Some Things Better Said [Jiseth/Zero]

[Zero Alpha]

[Alpha's Quarters]

Some things never changed, no matter how much time passed or what else changed around it.  One such element was Zero Alpha's quarters.  Despite the addition of a child a little over a year old, her quarters were still immaculate, with every object in its place.  There were very few personal touches.  There wasn't even a uniform jacket tossed casually over the back of a chair as one might expect at the end of a day.  What there was was a female child sitting on the floor, playing with a Vulcan toy designed to encourage the learning of logic at an early age.  It seemed a little odd that a child so young seemed to be able to focus so easily for a prolonged period of time, but there was little about the child that could be called normal.  White hair and pale skin, but pointed ears poked through, V-shaped ridges apparent on her forehead and, beneath upswept eyebrows, vividly green eyes.

While the girl played, the other occupant of the living space was quietly tidying away the night's dishes.  Callion had eaten well, starting to progress onto more complex human food, such as the chicken, tomatoes and pasta she had just ingested.  Zero, on the other hand, was still only beginning the process of moving off of her assigned nutritional supplements and onto what most people would call 'proper food'.  An uphill battle, but something that she was working on with some determination with her handler.

The final occupant snoozed quite happily in his basket, a paw twitching in his dreams.  Ghost didn't let much bother him.  He had been trained as a search and rescue dog before being given to Zero, and nothing even Callion could do could compare to that.  Even so, when Zero was out of the room, he often kept an eye on the toddler to make sure she was kept safe.

Both females and the canine looked up in faint surprise as the door chime sounded, Zero frowning slightly.  The majority of the crew would rather let a limb rot and fall off before coming to her for medical attention, and she had precious few friends on board.  Just who could be calling on her at such a late hour?

"Enter," she called warily.

[Jiseth]

There was a thumping in her ears, the sound of her own heart beat, it may as well have been the subwoofers to a dance club. Jiseth's hand trembled slightly after hitting the chime. Hearing Zero's voice from the other side did not help much. Slowly she placed it behind her while her other hand reached back and took hold. A walking, relaxed parade rest was far less confrontational than crossing her arms like she was instinctively trying to. With a deep breath she took a step forward and the doors hissed open.

Jiseth stepped into a disturbingly familiar place. It looked no different than the first day they had moved in together on the Churchill. Then again, there was a certain consistency to Starfleet interior design. Luxurious by Romulan ship standards. Her eyes scanned the room quickly. No one else seemed to be there aside from the members of her former family. Or were they still family? She had no idea.

She certainly was not the same woman, at least she did not think so. The cargo shorts the Romulan wore which exposed her prosthetic legs or her shorter hair cut were the least of the alterations. Somewhere along the way to recovery it was like a switched was flipped though the process to get to that point took many months. Day after day, hour after sweat-drenched hour, she learned to walk again and had to dig deep into herself to find the strength to not confine herself to a chair. Or take a one-way ticket out an airlock.

Her head bowed and eyes went straight to the floor in front of her. Jiseth was fairly certain Ghost could have heard the actuators in her legs. Worse, she knew Zero would figure it out and not require the canine's level of hearing. She wanted to savor this moment, but it felt like a court martial hearing. Simply waiting and wondering for what verdict might come, it was in her nature to assume to worst though things with the Augment could hardly have been described as terrible from what broken memories she had.

"I... I got your message."

[Zero Alpha]

When the door slid open to admit Jiseth, Ghost jumped out of his basket, bounding over to greet the Romulan with all the enthusiasm of a canine seeing one of their favourite people after an extended amount of time, dancing in front of her to try to get her attention.  Zero, on the other hand, was more hesitant.  Her eyes were drawn to the prosthetics, noting how Jiseth was standing with them and immediately felt a surge of anger toward whoever had done such a thing to her, both causing the removal of her legs and then replacing them with such sub-standard work.

Callion, now distracted from her puzzle, looked up at Jiseth with wide, curious eyes.  She got to her feet, toddling over to Zero and wrapping her arms around her mother's leg.  "Holograph!" she said.

"Indeed," Zero replied to her daughter.  "This is the individual from the holographs I presented to you."  Looking back to the Romulan, the Augment had to take a deep breath.  It was obvious that much had happened to the Romulan since she had last seen Jiseth, just as much had happened to her.  They were no longer the same people, but the question was: Would they still want each other?  Shortly before their separation, Jiseth had asked Zero to marry her.  Did she still feel the same?

"I am glad that you have chosen to come," the pale woman replied softly.  "I wish... I wish to present to you Callion...  Your daughter."

[Jiseth]

A warm smile came across the Romulan's face as she slowly knelt down and began scratching just behind Ghost's ears, drawing him in for a hug. After a few pats on the shoulder, she eased back though suddenly found herself getting covered in wet dog kisses. Wiping her face with the back of her hand, Jiseth was glad that at least he was surely happy to see her. Eventually she would have to make peace with the Trill and curly-haired wunderkind, but that though went to the back burner when she heard the infant speak.

For some reason she was surprised, though a moment she realized how silly that was. If she inherited any of Zero's genes then she would be light-years ahead of other children. Especially Human ones. Romulan children had already devised a plan to murder everyone in their immediate family by age 3, so this little one still had time.

Cautiously she took a step forward, ignoring the blizzard of white hairs now covering her black shorts and grey shirt. Her head tilted to the side as her eyes focused on her daughter. The little eyes staring back at her did not instill fear as she thought. It was mostly curiosity. Curiosity about much of how life had been up until this point. And without a doubt what was going on in the little one's head. Even so, Jiseth's eyes quickly began to water up, trying to keep the sniffling to a minimum.

"She's already speaking and walking... Such a beautiful mind. She gets that from you no doubt... I'm sorry-I... If she ever runs off as a teenager, I guess that's on my end. Or does any insane daredevil stunts... I would imagine she will outrun me pretty soon though umm... I guess I should have thought of something better to say... All I can think of is thank you."

[Zero Alpha]

Ghost had apparently decided that the short bout of attention he had received from Jiseth wasn't enough to compensate him for the amount of time she had been away and remained glued to her side, tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth in a doggy grin as he leaned against her.

Callion, on the other hand, tilted her head to the side in a mirror fashion to Jiseth's movement.  There were features similar to her own, the ridges and eyebrows and ears, but it was Jiseth's eyes that fascinated the little girl.  So close to the ones she saw in the mirror.  The voice was also extremely familiar.  Zero had made sure to provide plenty of holographs of her other mother as well as what recordings of her voice that could be found in the ship's computer.

"I have been encouraging her cognitive and intellectual development," the pale young woman replied softly, looking down at the child.  "She learns at an accelerated rate, although not to the same extent as my own at a similar point in my own growth.  She has also shown many traits similar to you, a certain stubborness and instinct for both trouble and the dramatic."  Finally looking up at Jiseth again, she continued:  "There is no need for your thanks, but rather the reverse.  Through Callion, I have been able to maintain a proximity to you while I believed you to be deceased.  It has been most... comforting."

The child left her mother's side, creeping closer to Jiseth with an expression of wary curiosity on her face.  She stopped a pace or two from Jiseth, standing at an approximation of parade rest, staring up at the Romulan.

"You are Jiseth," she stated, blinking her wide, green eyes.  "You are... Mom?  Yes, you are Mom."  Apparently deciding that her deduction was correct, the girl closed the remaining distance between them, ignoring the hard surface of the prosthetic and hugging Jiseth's leg.

[Jiseth]

It was like being dunked into a tub full of ice water how sobering it was to hear Zero speak of the Romulan's death. Or at least, everyone thought she was. For a second time. Admittedly, it must have allowed the Augment to grow on her own in a way that Jiseth could not assist with. This realization was rather bitter and it left a soreness in her chest. How many times a heart could break, she had no idea, but it seemed at times hers was determined to find out.

Before she could adequately figure out a reply, Callion stepped forward. For such a young age, she commanded herself well. Perhaps it was the hormones kicking in, but in the Romulan's mind right now nothing would look cuter than a tiny Admiral's uniform for the infant. Her heart stopped, however, when she heard the word Mom. Actually, no. It felt like it exploded in her chest. Especially after she hugged her.

Jiseth hunkered down and leaned forward, sliding her hands around her daughter until each met with the opposite elbow. Her cheek rested on top of Callion's head for a moment as he closed her eyes. This moment was beyond words for her. So good it hurt. It may have been too early to tell, but for a minute amount of time she felt she was home.

"That's correct. And you are Callion, my daughter..."

She moved her right hand back and to the child's forehead, gently tracing the ridges along it with her finger tip.

"...Our daughter."

Looking back up to Zero, there was a warm smirk tracing Jiseth's lips.

"I suppose... I should fill you in on where I've been."

[Zero Alpha]

Callion seemed quite happy to simply stay clinging on to her new found mother, but the late hour of the night seemed to be wearing on her and she let out a large yawn.  Untangling herself from Jiseth's embrace, the toddler made her way back over to Zero, looking up at her mother while holding out her arms to be picked up and stated: "I require sleep."

Zero obliged, taking the sleepy child to balance on her hip and turned her gaze to Jiseth, offering her a faint, hesitant smile.  "If you wish to divulge the details of you recent..." she paused as she tried to find an appropriate word.  "Adventures, I would gladly hear of them.  Before you begin, I will lay Callion to sleep so that we will not be disturbed.  If it pleases you, make yourself comfortable until my return."  Zero turned, taking a step toward the small bedroom off the living area that she had decorated for her daughter, then hesitated, turning back to Jiseth.  "Unless you wish to assist me in settling her to sleep?"

[Jiseth]

Adventures. Maybe she could spin her attempts to get to the commode from her hospital bed as such. Or all the times she her legs would seize up and she fell during physical therapy. The sudden and uncontrollable waves of pain in what her brain though was still there. What she would give to have a time-machine and stop the Daedalus from ever flying that day. Her left hand perhaps.

Jiseth's eyes drifted awkwardly to the couch. Comfortable in feeling, but she felt foreign here. Maybe everything was a few centimeters off from what she remembered. It was not long before she realized that she wanted just a bit more time with the child. She got her wish and to keep her hand with this one. Her head shot back quickly to Zero with a look of relief on her face.

"Y-yes. Absolutely, I would love to."

Trying to not get too excited, she reminded herself that she would probably lose balance and hit something. The Romulan stepped lightly or as much as she could given the lack of feeling she had. Walking was mostly guesswork and sometimes she found herself watching her feet rather than seeing where she was going. Still, it was at least a short walk to the other room.

Pulling back the small sheets on Callion's bedding, Jiseth ran her hands over it to warm it up a bit before Zero put her in. She silently hoped her presence would not disturb the child's sleep, but it seemed little would be required to send her off into dreamland. Leaning in with a gentle kiss on her forehead, she softly sung a lullaby similar to one she had heard from her own mother.

"From the heart we'll cry
From the heart we'll smile and laugh
Tears of sadness and the tears of joy
After crying it is all the same
It will come down to the thought, these tears are from the heart
The goodness that we share from far apart
All the mornings when I think of you, all the evenings when I feel for you
You bring out the best parts in me
Callion, I love you
The dreaming girl I see..."

[Zero Alpha]

The doctor in Zero couldn't help but watch the way Jiseth moved, gingerly and hesitantly, a far cry from the grace she remembered the Romulan having.  While Zero had the grace of a ballerina, Jiseth had always had a far more predatory grace, more akin to a panther shouldering her way through the jungle on the hunt for her prey.  It angered her anew that a doctor had robbed the Romulan of that.

Once she had lain Callion down on the small bed, she stepped back to the doorway to allow the two of them even a semblance of privacy while still able to observe how the new mother and child interacted.  It brought a strange, warming feeling to her chest to see the two of them together, to hear Jiseth singing to her daughter.  Zero had always taken care over the time since Callion's birth to make sure that she saw pictures of Jiseth, even hear recordings of her voice taken from logs and transmissions, but they were poor substitute for the real thing.

Callion, cuddled up with a fluffy teddy bear that had been a gift from Gavin, gave a wide yawn again, fighting to keep her eyes open so as to stay a little longer with Jiseth, but it was a futile battle.  Before long, the child was fast asleep.

[Jiseth]

Slipping away, Jiseth took one last look at Callion as she tried to commit this moment to a lasting memory. If nothing else, a further motivation to better herself for the child's sake if not her own. It seemed to go by too fast, however. Not just the time since she walked into their quarters, but ever since she first met Zero. It tore her up that in total she had spent more months in a coma than living with the woman who she wanted as a partner.

Reemerging from the bedroom, she made her way step by step to the couch and sat down. Coming down a touch faster than she would have liked, Jiseth quickly sat up straight though her posture was always far from Zero's perfect one. With her hands in her lap, she tried to look the Augment in the eye, but it was not long before hers drifted to the floor.

"...Do you recall the project Admiral Brown gave me? That shuttle I had been working on? Well, I don't think I did a good enough of a job. Took it to the Gamma Quadrant for a test flight. The deuterium cryofuel tank exploded. The cockpit was smashed when I hit the ground and the nerves in my legs were too badly damaged for the biosynthetic ones to function. So I went through a second double amputation and they gave me these things. Crude, but functional. Probably more than someone like me deserves."

Putting her index finger and thumb to the bridge of her nose, Jiseth closed her eyes trying to contain her emotions.

"I have a vague idea of how long I was in a coma, but I definitely remember waking up. They had me immobile in traction for months. Plenty of people specializing in Vulcan care and not a damn soul who had a clue about Romulans for several sectors. Hell, my court martial was done in the hospital room. Had to record my eye moments as a means to have me sign documents. Took a year of physical therapy just to get a jog going in these stupid things. They used Borg-like nano probes to build the neural bridges which give me locomotion and little else. Probably no good as a dance partner anymore."

[Zero Alpha]

Before leaving Callion's room, Zero turned on the small night light, then allowed the door to slide closed, forming a barrier that would prevent the child's sleep from being disturbed by their conversation.

Not long after they had sat down, Jiseth started her story.  She did indeed remember the Daedalus project, something that Jiseth had tried to get Zero involved with, but Corinth hadn't been willing to allow her transfer to the Churchill in order to do so.  It called the young Augment that she hadn't been there because of it, that she hadn't been there to either be with Jiseth during the accident, nor help her treatment in the aftermath.

Moving hesitantly, as if she was still unsure of her actions, she leaned forward and held out a hand to hover over Jiseth's for a handful of heartbeats before actually resting her hand on the Romulan's in a paltry attempt at reassurance.  Emotional outbursts were still very much unknown territory for her, but she was learning.

"If you will permit me, I will make a project of it, improving your movement.  I am... I am sorry that I was not present to assist you in your time of need, nor present to prevent either the accident or what the inferior medical personnel have done."

[Jiseth]

Her eyes opened slowly feeling Zero's hand on her own. For a moment she questioned what was motivating the contact. Queer girls always seem to overestimate such things and she was no exception. Probably the stereotype. Ever so slowly she turned her hand around so their palms touched and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry I did not reach out sooner. I was... afraid. There was a time I thought it best I never come back, no matter how much it hurt. I could not endure that path. It felt... wrong. At the very least I had to know you were alright."

Her attention shifted to their hands together.

"...I missed this. I still do. Suppose I should learn how to walk better anything. Can't have Ghost catching her all the time because I can't keep up. He's too easily bribed. Anything you could do would be vastly better than these things they stuck on me."

[Zero Alpha]

Jiseth's hand was warm beneath hers, more so when she turned her hand so as to be able to squeeze Zero's.  The contact felt strange, foreign, something that had for so long been absent from her life.  Beyond Callion, she hadn't let anyone touch her after Kintiss had pieced her back together.

"I believed you deceased," Zero murmured, looking down at their hands.  "I wish that I had done more to confirm that rather than believing the reports.  Perhaps I could have found you sooner, introduced you to Callion earlier in her life."  As Jiseth agreed to let her look at improving the prosthetics, Zero offered her a faint smile.  "I will begin the project as of Alpha shift."

[Jiseth]

There was an almost stern look on Jiseth's face when Zero mentioned the reports. Then came a shrug and a shake of her head.

"I read the reports as well. They were rather convincing though not specific in regards to the manner in which I died. Sanitized for the average reader I suppose. You and Callion are the only family I have who knows I'm still alive. Not sure I can tell my mother or my siblings... They already have a grave and performed a funeral after all..."

She slowly mustered as smile as well.

"Guess you have two ghosts here... I don't want to take you away from your research, but at the same time, you are technically my doctor and I would prefer to keep flying. Speaking of, what have you been up to since my disappearance?"

[Zero Alpha]

Zero watched as the gamut of emotions ran across the Romulan's face at the mention of the reports falsely detailing her death.  I should have known better than to trust documentation written by the hand of Starfleet Medical, she bitterly thought to herself before bringing her thoughts back to the present situation.

"I see no outstanding reason for which I would deny you from flight, but I will nonetheless work toward a better solution than the... inelegant one you are forced to endure."  The question as to what had happened to her during Jiseth's absence was one that made the pale young woman start, her eyes widening slightly and her hands clenching to try to hide the tremours that had yet to go away.  Sensing the distress, Ghost picked himself up from where he had been contentedly lying between the two women to rest his head on Zero's knee.

"Admiral Corinth appointed a new handler to my case, a former acquaintance of his.  She, with assistance from Captain T'Koris, have been working without his knowledge to better my social skills and attempt to repair much of the damage he has wrought," she replied.  "I have also been continuing my dancing and, of course, my research."