Time to Heal Continued

[Alexander Wu]

Safefta knew Wu was right. Revek had already proven that he would go to great lengths to fulfill his motivations. But would she be able to live with it if his actions to protect her took other lives? Probably not, no... Fvadt, Alex. I am already in a difficult position as it is. There are some things I would rather not be reminded of... not now, she thought to herself. It wasn't the first time she'd considered this, of course, but after too many anxious nights worrying about whether her decisions were wise or not, she'd given up and accepted defeat in that argument at least.

"I...."

Before she was able to continue, Alex's entire demeanor changed in front of her and she was quickly silenced. Safefta saw the look in his eyes; one she knew very well, having been faced with it in the mirror more times than she could count- one of grief. Why hadn't she seen this before? You are a very good actor, Alex... she thought sadly. Never once has she seen him like this. It was more his words which concerned her, however. They sounded more than just unhappy. They sounded utterly defeated, with more than a hint of foreshadowing that sent a chill down her spine. With the previous topic immediately wiped from mind, the Romulan's face twitched into one of urgent concern.

What to do? This was a job more suited to counselors, Safefta mused unhappily. Uncertainly, her hands rested on her friend's shoulders.

"Alex... are you alright?" Foolish question! Of course he is not.

[Observation Lounge]

Am I alright? Alex looked back at Safefta blankly, grasping for the answer in his mind. I still work. I still live, I still breathe. "I..." No, would have been the answer he should give, the honest answer. Ever since Susan's death, he had been trying to fill the void with whatever he could, but it felt like a bottomless pit. At the beginning, he had been numb, unwilling to accept that she was gone. Months later, he had too much time to think, to remember. All he wanted was to be numb again. And when they found out, he would lose his warrant, and his ship. It didn't matter anymore. For eight long years, he had hope to hold onto, knowing that they would be reunited. All they had to do was wait. Now, all the waiting in the universe wouldn't help. Hope was lost forever.

She's leaving in hours to her new ship. She's pregnant and the father's a member of the blackest of all Starfleet organizations. Someone who shouldn't be trusted to command a shuttle is now captaining a starship with no buffer or anyone to check his madness. She doesn't need your troubles loaded onto her plate right now. But I can't lie to her either. "I...don't know." Alex replied finally, adverting his eyes to a point past Saf's shoulder. He could see the concern in her eyes, and that wasn't something he wanted from her. She shouldn't have to worry about your sorry ass. Well then you shouldn't have told her.

[Gabe Crouch]

Eli smiled, slightly, but stammered a bit at the response. Harriman was a man who Eli could trust, knowing that he had seen many of the ups and downs of Starfleet service that Eli was currently feeling. One did not get to be a commander without a lot of experience.

"Complicated, sir. I will let you meet with the Captain, and hopefully we can catch up soon."

Eli adjusted his uniform, a little uncomfortable. He felt an unusual surge in emotions, but he managed to maintain a neutral expression.

"Well the captain is in a meeting so lets go get some food and catch up." John was so happy to see Eli.

[Safefta Pardek]

[Observation Lounge]

Am I alright? Alex looked back at Safefta blankly, grasping for the answer in his mind. I still work. I still live, I still breathe. "I..." No, would have been the answer he should give, the honest answer. Ever since Susan's death, he had been trying to fill the void with whatever he could, but it felt like a bottomless pit. At the beginning, he had been numb, unwilling to accept that she was gone. Months later, he had too much time to think, to remember. All he wanted was to be numb again. And when they found out, he would lose his warrant, and his ship. It didn't matter anymore. For eight long years, he had hope to hold onto, knowing that they would be reunited. All they had to do was wait. Now, all the waiting in the universe wouldn't help. Hope was lost forever.

She's leaving in hours to her new ship. She's pregnant and the father's a member of the blackest of all Starfleet organizations. Someone who shouldn't be trusted to command a shuttle is now captaining a starship with no buffer or anyone to check his madness. She doesn't need your troubles loaded onto her plate right now. But I can't lie to her either. "I...don't know." Alex replied finally, adverting his eyes to a point past Saf's shoulder. He could see the concern in her eyes, and that wasn't something he wanted from her. She shouldn't have to worry about your sorry ass. Well then you shouldn't have told her.

'I don't know' was barely an answer, but it was enough to make Safefta use the grip on her friend's shoulders to pull him into an uncharacteristically tight hug, despite Alex's deliberate attempt to avoid her gaze. This situation was very strange. Alex, you are always the happy one and the one with advice... what the hell is wrong? The Romulan could think of several instances where she'd begrudgingly explained a trouble of hers to Wu and had actually appreciated the advice dispensed.

Please tell me it's not my turn. I do not do advice well... Well, at least she could empathize with him. Losing people was something she'd been all to familiar with. As a counselor, though, she would leave much to be desired. Try anyway. "I will take that to mean no," she said worriedly. "We need to go talk." It wasn't a question.

[Alexander Wu]

'I don't know' was barely an answer, but it was enough to make Safefta use the grip on her friend's shoulders to pull him into an uncharacteristically tight hug, despite Alex's deliberate attempt to avoid her gaze. This situation was very strange. Alex, you are always the happy one and the one with advice... what the hell is wrong? The Romulan could think of several instances where she'd begrudgingly explained a trouble of hers to Wu and had actually appreciated the advice dispensed.

Please tell me it's not my turn. I do not do advice well... Well, at least she could empathize with him. Losing people was something she'd been all to familiar with. As a counselor, though, she would leave much to be desired. Try anyway. "I will take that to mean no," she said worriedly. "We need to go talk." It wasn't a question.

[Observation Lounge]

Surprised by Saf's embrace, Alex reluctantly reciprocated, gently pushing her away after a few seconds. "There's really nothing to talk about." He told her softly, smiling wanly at his friend. Talking wouldn't change anything. "I'm just...a little tired. Haven't been able to sleep well the past few months. It's just something I'll have to live with." For a little while longer. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, forcing a more cheerful smile. If you consider her a friend, don't involve her. Make your peace, and let her go.

"Gettysburg..." Alex mentioned, steering the conversation elsewhere. "How's your packing coming along?"

[Safefta Pardek]

[Observation Lounge]

Surprised by Saf's embrace, Alex reluctantly reciprocated, gently pushing her away after a few seconds. "There's really nothing to talk about." He told her softly, smiling wanly at his friend. Talking wouldn't change anything. "I'm just...a little tired. Haven't been able to sleep well the past few months. It's just something I'll have to live with." For a little while longer. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, forcing a more cheerful smile. If you consider her a friend, don't involve her. Make your peace, and let her go.

"Gettysburg..." Alex mentioned, steering the conversation elsewhere. "How's your packing coming along?"

Safefta immediately frowned. "It is done. I had little to pack." Her answer was clipped, succinct, and it was clear that she wasn't going to drop the previous matter so easily. Her expression was riddled with concern. That forced smile that Alex was wearing wasn't fooling her in the slightest. I know my fair share about forced expressions... Do not play it as though you are fine, Alex. We both know you are not.

"Alex... do not shove me away like this. I am your friend. Sleeping badly for months and whatever else you have been doing..." she trailed off for a moment, noting that she was sounding a little strained. "It is not normal. I am likely one of the few people who can understand this. Please talk to me."

Fvadt u'hnaev, Alex, kroiha kla rokhinu! Kivoi imirrhlhhse fhaestu... she thought exasperatedly.

[Alexander Wu]

Safefta immediately frowned. "It is done. I had little to pack." Her answer was clipped, succinct, and it was clear that she wasn't going to drop the previous matter so easily. Her expression was riddled with concern. That forced smile that Alex was wearing wasn't fooling her in the slightest. I know my fair share about forced expressions... Do not play it as though you are fine, Alex. We both know you are not.

"Alex... do not shove me away like this. I am your friend. Sleeping badly for months and whatever else you have been doing..." she trailed off for a moment, noting that she was sounding a little strained. "It is not normal. I am likely one of the few people who can understand this. Please talk to me."

Fvadt u'hnaev, Alex, kroiha kla rokhinu! Kivoi imirrhlhhse fhaestu... she thought exasperatedly.

[Observation Lounge]

"Saf..." Alex raised a hand to his temples, closing his eyes momentarily. He really did appreciate her efforts, although he was generally much more comfortable being the one doing the helping. It took his mind off his own problems.  No, you can't. She'll try to help and you'll just end up hurting her. "You've been like a sister to me." Alex told her quietly, referring to their friendship. "Little sister, obviously." He quickly added with the quick mischievous twitch of a smirk. "Ever since Gibson, even after you left, I tried to keep an eye on you whenever I could...and now look at you, all grown up and joining the dark side." He pointed out her rank with the same fleeting smile.

Alex raised a hand to Safefta's arm, squeezing it lightly. "And...that, is why I can't. I know you mean well, and I'm touched. But this is my wild dog, and where I'm going, you can't come. Please, give me that."

[Safefta Pardek]

[Observation Lounge]

"Saf..." Alex raised a hand to his temples, closing his eyes momentarily. He really did appreciate her efforts, although he was generally much more comfortable being the one doing the helping. It took his mind off his own problems.  No, you can't. She'll try to help and you'll just end up hurting her. "You've been like a sister to me." Alex told her quietly, referring to their friendship. "Little sister, obviously." He quickly added with the quick mischievous twitch of a smirk. "Ever since Gibson, even after you left, I tried to keep an eye on you whenever I could...and now look at you, all grown up and joining the dark side." He pointed out her rank with the same fleeting smile.

Alex raised a hand to Safefta's arm, squeezing it lightly. "And...that, is why I can't. I know you mean well, and I'm touched. But this is my wild dog, and where I'm going, you can't come. Please, give me that."

Fvadt... you are killing me, Alexander. This was starting to give her a headache, one of frustration and concern. She absoloutely hated the way her friend was talking, what he was alluding to. "Yes. You have been as a sibling to me. That is why I cannot simply walk away. You are too important to me." Pardek gripped Alex's shoulders again, fully aware that he would likely pull away again.

"But where does this wild dog lead you, Alex?" Safefta was scared now, but was keeping it out of her tone with much effort. "I do not know very much about friends... but I feel I know enough to know that leaving you alone to fight... this... is not what is right."

[Alexander Wu]

Fvadt... you are killing me, Alexander. This was starting to give her a headache, one of frustration and concern. She absoloutely hated the way her friend was talking, what he was alluding to. "Yes. You have been as a sibling to me. That is why I cannot simply walk away. You are too important to me." Pardek gripped Alex's shoulders again, fully aware that he would likely pull away again.

"But where does this wild dog lead you, Alex?" Safefta was scared now, but was keeping it out of her tone with much effort. "I do not know very much about friends... but I feel I know enough to know that leaving you alone to fight... this... is not what is right."

[Observation Lounge]

"You have to." Alex replied simply, pointing out the obvious. "It's not something you can help with...not unless you know how to raise the dead or erase memories." He leaned back against the window sill, moving away from the romulan. Over the years, his nightmares were full of those he hadn't been able to save, the victims he had failed. The restless nights had been getting increasingly frequent since that dreadful day. Now, every time he closed his eyes, Alex walked the same sixteen steps past the swinging doors towards a steelplast slab, the solitary figure ontop covered by that off-white sheet. Her skin was pale under the harsh white light, lips tinged blue, her long brown hair fanned loosely about her head. She could almost have been sleeping. The coroner's explanation had been unnecessary. Asphyxiation left no marks.

I can't put her through that. He had watched Pardek's extraordinary transformation since those early years on Gibson, and she was truly flourishing now. Regardless of his own personal feelings regarding Tre'el, he had given the Cardassian credit for bringing the young introverted woman out of her shell. She would be moving on to do great things, and didn't need Alex dragging her down. "You have a bright future ahead of you, and a young family to take care of. Some things are just...meant to be. Ce la vie." He shrugged slightly, a faint smile touching his lips. Sell it. "I'll be alright, Saf, don't you worry."