I See, I See (Judy/Stryker)

[Judith Eastman]

[Judy's Quarters]

"Exactly!" Judy answered, smiling broadly. "That's the way you do it!"

Sven hadn't technically worded it as a question, but that was fine.

"Now, suppose you stumble upon McDonald later, and he's fumbling with the array. Ask him if he needs any help."

[Stryker]

Sven's Quarters

"Uh, okay..." Sven rubbed the back of his neck.

"Hey, man. I couldn't help but notice that you've got the connections reversed. Would you like some help?"

[Judith Eastman]

[Judy's Quarters]

"Umm, uhh," Judy stuttered, entering character fully. "Actually, I wasn't really, uh, sure how to do it, sir."

Through the veneer of the character, Judy seemed to be trying to encourage Sven to keep going. He was doing pretty well!

[Stryker]

Sven's quarters

The large man ran a hand over his shorn head.

"I- Didn't you take the required courses? This is a rudimentary job."

he paused for a second. "No, wait try that again."

"Okay, so tell me what you were going to do, and I'll walk you through it."

[Judith Eastman]

[Judy's Office]

"Okay, this is the part where I break character, because I don't have this engineering knowledge," Judy replied, assuming her confident tone and light New York accent once more.
"You were doing pretty well, except for the part where you questioned whether he took the courses, and said that what he was failing at is easy. That's probably true, I don't actually know, but it would hurt his feelings, which doesn't help you get anywhere with him."

[Stryker]

Sven's quarters

Sven scratched the back of his neck again. "I know, I know. That's why I stopped. It's hard for me not to get annoyed or angry."

Of course Judy knew all this, but he said it again.

[Judith Eastman]

[Judy's Quarters]

"That's understandable," the older woman replied. "It's the whole reason we've been having these chats, after all."

She took another sip, which finished the glass, and then poured herself something that looked suspiciously like her precious chardonnay.

"Let me teach you a trick to avoid saying this sort of thing. Before you speak, pause two seconds, to think about what you're about to say. It'll take a while to develop, but once you do, it'll serve you well, and it'll make you look smart, too."

[Stryker]

[Sven's quarters]

The engineer nodded. He had heard that before. Thinking before speaking. But it was harder to put into practice especially when he was angered or emotionally charged.

He paused, and have the newly poured glass a shed look.

"You're not drinking on the job are you, doc?"

[Judith Eastman]

[Judy's Quarters]

"No, I'm not!" Judy protested. "I've donated my paychecks since taking this position, so I object to you calling it a job. I'm drinking, yes, but not on the job."

That was one of the perks of being fabulously well-off. Judy could make a show of giving her paycheck to charity, or throwing an office party and buying them a coffeemaker. It had good optics, and it made her feel warm and bubbly inside.

She took a sip of her beloved white wine.

[Stryker]

[Svens quarters]

Svens face pulled into horror, that logic made no sense.

"It doesn't matter if you're donating your paychecks or not, starfleet regulations strictly state that you are not to drink while on duty." he said flatly.

"Is your XO aware of this?"

[Judith Eastman]

[Judy's Quarters]

"My XO approves of it," Judy replied. "As a former counselor herself, she understands that a little booze helps keep things running more smoothly. Heck, she used to drink on the job herself."

The older woman set her wineglass down and looked directly at Sven.

"Take it from someone who's been in the biz for a while, Sven: as long as you do a good job, and as long as you make pleasant company, your superiors will let you get away with all sorts of things."

[Stryker]

[Svens quarters]

"No offence, I don't want you drinking booze while counseling me.

He seemed very adamant and firm on this point

[Judith Eastman]

[Judy's Quarters]

"Very well," Judy conceded, setting her wine aside. "If it makes you feel uncomfortable, the chardonnay will sit this one out."

Of course, that wasn't it. Valid though Sven's concern was, it was raised incorrectly.

"Now, let's talk about the way this interaction between us went, just now," she asserted. "Have you ever heard of the concept of 'I' statements?"

[Stryker]

Sven's quarters

Sven shook his head indicating "no."

[Judith Eastman]

Judy's Quarters]

"The concept is thus: when you have a disagreement or issue with someone, you don't want to accuse them, because then they get defensive," Judy explained. "So, instead, you express the problem in terms of how you feel. That way, you don't explicitly blame them,."

She paused, already anticipating a certain rebuke.
"Yes, that applies even when they are clearly in the wrong. People hate being called out, rightly or otherwise."