Re: Of Course It Hurts (Judy/Saya)

[Ozu Saya]

[Estate]

Kyo was surprised by Judy's flood of words when he entered the kitchen again, but he almost immediately began shaking his head. Judy, you don't need to apologize, really. I'm trying not to be overly solicitous, but I know it must be difficult for you having someone hovering over you even as much as I have been.

I don't know you as well as Saya does, so it's led me to err more on the side of caution and, wrongly it seems, assume that you won't always ask for help if needed. I apologize if I was incorrect.

[Judith Eastman]

[Estate]

"Honestly, I don't always know when to ask for help, because I don't always feel like I need help. That's really the heart of the problem - sometimes, you and Saya are right, but it's hard to admit that. Beyond that, I'm supposed to rest, but rest just makes me feel feebler and more miserable." Judy replied.

The older woman began to lay out the skewers.
"Maybe if I felt like I was being pampered, rather than limited, I'd feel a little better,"" she thought aloud.
She supposed it was true. Being served breakfast in bed by her mother did feel better than Kyo and Saya offering their help with breakfast, and lounging around in her pajamas all day made Judy feel much stronger than having to constrain herself to a quarter of her wardrobe. At the same time, however, she could feed herself, and she was probably going to manage chinos any day now, and independence did feel better than anything else.

[Ozu Saya]

[Estate]

Well, Kyo said thoughtfully, That makes sense. So think of this as relaxing instead of resting? And it's not as if we have anything we have to do, either here or when we go back to the apartment. If we do like we are here and intersperse relaxing days with more active, that should help you, and Saya and I don't want to be running all over the place every day either. I think we'd be just as content spending a lot of time in, playing some music, as anything else.

What about, for meals, if we each took charge of one a day? I know you love cooking, and you could be in charge of the rotation. I think both Saya and I are happy to let you take the lead on what we eat. You haven't steered us wrong yet, he said with a grin. We can check with Saya too, but I don't think she'll object. I hope.

As for helping you, I think that's the toughest part. Balancing you being as independent as possible with not doing too much. Any ideas how we handle that?

[Judith Eastman]

[Estate]

Judy had to give that idea some thought. There was some merit to some of Kyo's suggestions, whereas others seemed counterproductive.

"Cooking is non-negotiable. After 30 years, it's as much a part of my independence as brushing my teeth," she began. She really only didn't cook when she couldn't cook, excepting breakfasts away and dining out. "Maybe I'll concede breakfast."

She tapped her fingers against the counter.
"Beyond that, if we just choose less intense activities, I'll have less of a chance to wear myself out. Fishing, heritage railroads, just calm walks around the island."

Judy started firing up the stove to cook the skewers. There was one privilege they'd have to sedate her to keep her away from.

[Ozu Saya]

[Estate]

Kyo chuckled, All right. You retain control of cooking. But that all sounds good. We can do more intense activities occasionally and keep it calm the rest of the time.

He brought the vegetables to Judy and returned to the cart to get the rice and lentils. Are we doing both of these? he asked, holding up the packages.

***

Saya heard Kyo's knock and soft call, and after a few minutes, she rolled out of the bed and went to retrieve the bowls to set inside the bedroom for Alieth. She then sat in a large armchair, pulling her legs up and hugging them as she watched her pet caper over to the bowls and check out her meal. It was really quite disconcerting, the way her body was betraying her. She hated going to the doctor, but Saya knew she would have to if all of these odd symptoms continued. Perhaps she had been too neglectful recently of her meditations.

Sliding to the floor in front of the chair, Saya crossed her legs and pressed her hands together, attempting to clear her mind, only to be stymied by visions of Kyo's face the first time he'd grinned at her.

[Judith Eastman]

[Estate]

"Yes, both of those, together," Judy replied. "It's a lovely Syrian dish. They call it Mujaddara in Arabic. Normally, it's made with onions as well, but we can do without since I did forget it. Cumin and coriander supply plenty of taste as it were."

While the dominant part of Judy's bloodline was Ashkenazi Jews, there were a few strands of other Jewish backgrounds, as well as various kinds of gentiles in the mix. This led to a somewhat more diverse, more interesting culinary heritage for Judy to enjoy.

"In hindsight, I think Saya would appreciate it a little more. There are those who use lentils as a substitute for meat in stews, including in the Jewish tradition. We're not allowed to have meat and dairy in the same meal, which requires us to get clever," she thought aloud as she set out a pot.
"Do you have any dietary restrictions like that that you follow?"

[Ozu Saya]

[Estate]

Sounds good to me, too. Kyo got pots out and put water in them, setting them on the stove to begin heating.

No real restrictions to speak of. We fast during the Time of Cleansing. That's for a month, dawn to dusk fast from food, and complete fast from worldly pleasures, which has a wide variety of interpretations. In my province, when we do eat, it's only bland foods with no spices. That's almost harder than not eating at all for people who love spicy foods as much as we do. Kyo grinned self-deprecatingly.

But I'm curious. Why can't you have dairy and meat together?

[Judith Eastman]

[Estate]

"'Dem's the rules," Judy replied with a smile. "The original law was against eating a baby animal in its mother's milk, which makes sense, but some 4000-year-old rabbis took a rather broad interpretation of that rule, and it stuck. I just sorta do it that way out of respect for tradition."

Judy turned the skewers over just a little bit, enjoying the sound of their sizzling. It was always so satisfying to do that.
"I like to turn them over a little bit at a time, instead of just flipping them over," the older woman explained. "It helps 'em cook more evenly."

[Ozu Saya]

[Estate]

Kyo furrowed his brow in puzzlement. It seemed like a completely arbitrary rule to him, but then, many would call Bajorans' worship of the Prophets arbitrary. He was curious to learn more about Judy's faith, though. It was rare in this age of technology and science to find others who still worshiped a deity.

What's the object, I guess, of your religion? Or who? Bajorans are often looked down upon for holding to our religion as we do. I'm not used to being around others who do so.

That smells great, he added with a sniff toward the kebabs.

[Judith Eastman]

[Estate]

"It's a monotheistic religion. There's one god, referred to as Jehovah, who's supposedly all-powerful, and who may or may not have created the universe. The original scripture says he created it in seven days, 5000 years ago, but most educated Jews who still hold our faith believe that he triggered the big bang. I still don't know if I believe that second explanation, or if I don't believe in him at all," Judy explained. Noticeably, unlike some followers of the Abrahamic faiths, she said "Jehovah" without reservation.
"There's a whole supposed history, which sometimes overlaps with actual archaeological evidence, that sorta traces the history of the Jewish people vis-a-vis God. Really, if you discard the first half of the first book, Genesis, it's rather plausible. I don't think I would've considered it if not for my upbringing, but since I do, I can't really rule religion out entirely."

Every time Judy was asked to explain religion, she gave a different explanation. So it went today as well.

[Ozu Saya]

[Estate]

Interesting, Kyo commented after Judy finished speaking. I suppose Bajorans would be considered polytheistic, though I don't know that we think of ourselves in that way. And many find us foolish for continuing to worship the Prophets after they were revealed to be aliens essentially interfering in our society. But they've proven to have, at the least, a benevolent interest in us.

So, would you consider yourself a true believer, or, what did you say? You follow out of respect for tradition or your family?

[Judith Eastman]

[Estate]

"That changes all the time. Sometimes I only follow it out of tradition, and sometimes out of faith," she explained. "One of the ways to rationalize going with faith when you're not sure has a name, what's it called? .... something... wager, someone's wager. The name will come to me. Anyway, it holds that following the faith has a finite chance, since God might exist, of an infinite reward, in the form of the afterlife, whereas what you abstain from out of faith is only finite. Pascal's wager! That's what it's called, I think. Anyway, that's sorta how I rationalize it on my less faithful days."

[Ozu Saya]

[Estate]

Hmm, Kyo murmured. I was very young when the Prophets were revealed as the wormhole aliens, but I remember my parents became even more faithful after that. As if they felt they could allow themselves to truly believe then. I grew up always knowing that the Prophets are real.

Many Bajorans held tight to their faith through the Occupation; but there were also many who lost faith that the Prophets would take care of us.

With a shrug, he said, They were waiting for the right time, I guess.

Kyo looked around at their half-finished meal. What now?

[Judith Eastman]

[Estate]

"We'll put the pots' contents together in a bit, spice 'em, and let 'em cook some more," Judy explained. "It's not particularly complicated, which can make it great for occasions like camping trips or bonfires."

This reminded Judy of many occasions when she'd cooked over an open fire, especially in her youth. It was a different, more rugged experience, but one she enjoyed nonetheless.
"I suppose we could try a bonfire here sometime, on a nice night with calm winds. What do you say?"
On the far side of the island, they could set up a spot that would feel remote and in the wild, but would still be fairly close to the comforts and conveniences of the massive estate. Such was the advantage of owning this sort of property.

[Ozu Saya]

[Estate]

That sounds like fun. I've never been camping, but I went to a bonfire once. A couple of the other musicians in the orchestra built one on a beach and invited everyone after a concert one night. Only a few of us took them up on it. I enjoyed it, though.

Isn't there a human tradition of singing songs around a campfire? I think I remember hearing something like that. It would be an enjoyable, low-key activity.

*****
Saya released a frustrated breath after being unable to reach a state of meditation after several minutes. Unable to settle her mind, Saya tiptoed through the music room and to the foyer and silently grabbed her cello case. Creeping back to her room, she set the instrument up and sat behind it, taking a few breaths before beginning to play a soulful, melancholy piece that encapsulated her feelings at the moment. It would be almost as good as meditation for calming her mind, perhaps better.

*****
Kyo froze for a minute as the muffled strains of music made it to the kitchen. Do you hear that? he asked Judy.