Season 15: Episode 4 - Vox Populai

[James Ramort]

[Shuttle]

While flying back he was very silent. Screams and eerie noises filling his head. His surrounding were forming a strict contrast to that. His hands were helping where needed, leaving his mind wandering. It wasn't a lit up path. When they returned to the Ships Hangar a feeling of dread beginning to form where shortly before great excitement had been.

[USS Discovery]

With the Shuttle setting down on the plates forming the Hangars floor, the surreal feeling was only growing stronger. He stepped down the ramp, helping hand off the wounded to the bystanding medical staff still able to carry out their duties. Then he was left alone. No orders, no immediate crisis he could meaningful help with. He was just standing there. A survivor. One of god knew how few. He could feel guild setting in. Why did he survive. A young inexperienced Ensign. There were so many people more important, more skilled, more valuable than him that hadn't.

He turned around and went to the Labs. Maybe there a Senior Officer would give him something to do. Maybe something to justify his survival, somehow.

[Lorut Vila]

Shuttle-Sickbay
Spacedock

This wasn't happening again. She was in and out of consciousness-damn it, she knew she was injured. Someone must've given her a hypospray or...something, because finally, she wasn't able to fight anymore. She was only able to lie, still, and quiet.

Through the fog, something was coming through, though. Daddy?! No, he was dead. Dr. Campbell, the counselor at the Starbase. She had seen her just before her marriage fell apart, as a last-ditch effort to save it. She'd only made two sessions.

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Dr. Rena Campbell, Chief Counselor of Starbase 45 was scheduled to talk to Major Lorut. The woman was a hard nut to crack - clearly, she had trauma and was needing help, but wouldn't ask for it and was struggling to accept what Rena was offering. Still. She was going to try. She got the things set up as she wanted it. She smiled when the door chime rang, and then she sighed. It was going to be a long afternoon. She gave a long sigh as she opened the door to the Bajoran. "Ms. Lorut, it's nice to see you," she said.

Vila really didn't want to be here, but she knew that she had to. Promises were promises though, so here she is.

"Hi. Same," she said, coming into the office. She sat down, but folded herself into the chair. "Thanks for moving my appointment today. I had...something I had to do earlier. The Captain...needed me for something, rather." She sighed. "So. I have trauma and make poor decisions."

Rena had settled in across from the Bajoran. Her PADD was ready, and she let Vila get out what was on her mind. She smiled lightly. "Why do you think you make poor decisions?" Rena wondered where that had come from.

Vila shrugged at the counselor. "People have said," she said. "And look. My actions have gotten people hurt before." She looked at the woman.

Rena nodded. Before she addressed the older woman's words, she said something else. "Would you like to hold and pet Porkchop during the session? You look like you could use a furry friend," she said. When the Bajoran looked interested, Rena stood up, and extracted the sleeping cat from his crate. "This is Porkchop. He IS a registered therapy cat, but he's also a good comfort," she said. "I got him at a pet shop when I did my externships on a Space Station way out in the DQ-Camp Kirelli." Rena then grew serious as she handed the cat to Vila. "It DOES, at blush, seem like sometimes you might make...not good choices. But from where I've sat, you don't necessarily do things recklessly. You just do them because they make sense to YOU. Perhaps we can work on improving communication in that way between you and everyone else."

Vila let out a sigh, but took the cat and cuddled it close to her. She had never been a pet person - Ben had wanted a dog, but she'd explained that they lived on a starship, and it didn't really make sense. He'd argue back that it would be good for their future children, and...well, that hadn't panned out, either, did it?!

"I guess that's one way to look at it," she said. "Do you know how I lost my Lieutenant  pip when I was in the Milita?" Vila sighed. "I was on an away mission; we had gotten a distress signal from an unidentified source. I went along, because of course I would. Anyway. Turns out it was actually an ambush from some Collaborators-some rogue factions wanted blood after their shuttle was shot down. Not by us. Anyway. Just as we were aiming to fire, and the signal went, I shot. Somehow, another officer was hit, instead of an enemy combatant, and he...didn't make it. My CO said it was friendly fire and I was to blame. I said it was an ambush, and absolute CHAOS. I ultimately was punished by losing a pip and time in rank."  Vila sighed hard, but actually, the gentle purring of the fluffy black cat did help a bit. And she felt better telling someone, finally, who wouldn't judge her or use it as a reason to further inhibit her work.

Rena listened; the incident was in her file, but she wanted to hear it from the woman directly. "I understand why that would be difficult for you to experience. You lost a colleague, and you were blamed. Is that why you...I've read in your file that some of your commanding officers think you are a bit...impetuous and maybe a little dismissive of authority. I think I can see why. If you're interested-at a later date-perhaps we can find a way to petition to have it re-examined? Very few things are forever," she said.

"Now, at our last meeting, you brought up wanting to discuss some things I read from you when you were first introduced to me. Do you want to do that today? Or discuss something else? We can revist your colleague's death on a different day because I don't think it has any bearing on your time here. I don't see your actions as brash or impulsive. I see them more as a woman who is maybe a bit jaded, and...for good reason, and who is trying to find herself again." Rena fell silent to let Lorut pick up her words.

Vila eyeballed the woman. She couldn't tell if the Counselor was being condescending or not. Most people? You could hear it in their tone. The Counselor was good at being neutral. Damn it. Maybe this was too much too soon. But it was how she was going to make things work out sooner rather than later.

"Sure. Let's discuss that," she said. "You know, back when I was on Ordeve for a mission at my...ex-husband's last posting, a Vedek told me that things were different now...but for who? Who are they different for? They're certainly not different for ME. I've never gotten an apology. I've never had my things returned that the Cardassians took. I was only eight! They took my doll," she said. Her eyes filled with tears, and she fought to keep them from falling. "I know it's not much. But it was MINE. It was all I had left."

Rena nodded. "I could see how that would be impactful, Vila. While the Vedek is correct that tensions are better between Bajorans and Cardassians, it absolutely would justify you feeling unheard and uncared about. So..who has it changed for? Some. But not for you. And that's OK." She paused. "There are legal avenues you can take through the JAG program; if you're interested, I can send you some information. To get your doll back. And maybe see some justice."

She waited a moment as the woman seemed to be considering. "Why don't I do that?" She smiled lightly. "You can make the choice then, if and when you are ready. In the meantime, let's talk about an apology. What would it mean if you could look at one of the Cardassians who were around during that time? Most of them have died or are in jail if they were caught, but I am sure we could also find a legal avenue for you to speak to someone, if you want to. BUT...what I want you to do is a small exercise. I want you to write down your thoughts, as if you were having a conversation with one of them...do it in letter form. Then... send it for incineration. I don't know if this late in your life, an apology would do much, but I think you need to tell your story to someone. Anyone besides me, and that will give you a fresh start. What do you think?"

Vila sighed deeply. "œI don't think that will help; a different counselor had me do similar things. I need"¦ to tell someone who isn't you or another counselor. Someone who can just listen and let me cry and just"¦ be there." She continued. "œI don't want or need my doll. I just want to not think about it constantly anymore."

Rena nodded. "œI absolutely understand. I'm sorry I misread your comments earlier." The Bajoran shook her head but Rena went on. "œI think that talking to someone about your experience will definitely help. If not me-and I completely understand- who? If you figure it out, you can use my office and I can help to mediate. Or not. Whatever works best. I suspect you have a person in mind?"

Vila nodded again. "œI do. I don't think it's necessary for you to be here, but I do appreciate it," she said.

Rena smiled. "œGood. I think you'll find, once you share, that it will help you with the nightmares you're experiencing."

Vila nodded. That made sense. "Thank you," she said, quietly.

Rena could tell that Vila's steely resolve was about to return, and so she would end the session here. It wasn't important that the first one be too long. It hadn't covered what she'd HOPED it had, but it had given her some insight, and that was definitely good. "Alright, Dr. Lorut, let's end here today, ok?" She said. "Thank you for coming to see me. I hope you can feel comfortable coming back next week," she said. They both knew it was an unlikely thing, but Rena DID hope the woman would be well. She watched the woman stand up, and hold Porkchop out. She took the cat from the Bajoran, and then stood. "Let me show you out," she said. She walked the woman to the door, and watched as she left the anteroom into the corridor before she put Pork back in his carrier.

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Vila's brown eyes opened. "Where am I?" she asked.

"Sickbay. Spacedock. Let me get you more hypospray. You're meant to be sleeping."

"NO!!" She cried out, flailing, but finding it useless. She was under a shield. Damn it. A moment later, hot liquid filled her veins and she was out again. DAMN IT.

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Vila knocked on the door. She never used the chimes-she hated the sound they made, and she assumed that a lot of other people did, too, but didn't have the way to say so. She waited for Rena to allow her in, and then she entered the room.

Rena heard the knock. There was only ONE person on this ship who refused to use the chimes. "Come in." she called out.

Vila came in, and looked around. She sat. "Hello," she said.

Rena smiled. "Hello," she said. "Would you like to hold onto Pork again?" She asked. The Bajoran nodded. Rena went and retrieved the cat from his carrier, and placed him in the other woman's arms. "There you go," she said, before sitting back down.

Vila took the cat, and brought him close to her face. She listened to his purrs.

"You can start when you'd like, Vila, or I can lead." Vila nodded.

Rena smiled. "Alright, let's talk about the nightmares. Can you tell me about them?"

Vila sighed, and moved the cat to her lap. "Yes. They are almost always the same. Most of it is from times in the labor camps," she paused. "Usually around the time I was...separated from my family for a time. I was, even back then, a bit of a...tempestuous child, and the Cardassians couldn't handle it. I was often punished, but when Dr. Crell Moset came to
to Bajor...well. We all know that he told the Cardassians he was doing medicine. They had to know...they learned...they took those of us who posed a threat. I was taken, and..." She started to cry.

Rena watched the Bajoran, carefully. Rena knew of the horrors that many of the Bajorans had faced, but she'd never heard a first-hand account. Silently, she handed the woman a tissue, and sat back. It was quiet, and just as Rena was about to speak, Vila beat her to it.

"They did experiments on us...all kinds of things. Gave us diseases we didn't have before. I caught Orkett's disease. They made it so...I can't have children. Removed an ovary," she said, with a sigh. "I guess I was one of the lucky ones because I survived." She pulled herself together quickly. "That's what I dream about."

Rena nodded. She thought carefully about her words, what she would say. Everything she could think of sounded trite or small, in comparison. "Thank you for sharing that with me," she said. "I am sorry that I don't have the words to express how sorry I am that that happened to you, and your people. No one should have to experience that, most especially a child," she sighed. She was actually horrified, and took a moment to choke back the anger that welled up in her throat. "I can understand how your subconscious can dwell on that. Not just the physical pain, even, but the abject fear and humiliation you must've felt."

Vila simply nodded. "Yes. When I was allowed to return to my camp, I wasn't supposed to tell my parents. And I didn't, for a long time. Because they-the Cardassians-threatened to kill my family. It wasn't long after that that I joined the Resistance."

Rena nodded. "How old were you then?"

"Thirteen."Vila said. "I was liberated two years later," she said. "I chose to go with my family, with the Federation. I wish I had stayed," she said. "The guilt of that stays with me more than the rest. That I left the fighters out there alone. Because I was scared."

Rena smiled, finally. "Please don't beat yourself up about that," she said. "It is always OK to take care of yourself first." Rena nodded lightly. "But I do sort of understand...I can't say that I would've stayed, either. However, you must realize now that it was fighting best left for older folks, though I know that several teenagers were involved."

Vila smiled a little. "Yes. Kira Nerys was the youngest of us. And fierce as hell. She was actually in a different cell than I was, but...my brother and I fought together. Our mother was so mad at us. She was SURE we would be hurt or killed. My brother nearly was. My oldest brother never joined. He never had the stomach for it," she said. "That's not a judgment, just a fact. He was the one who soothed Mama's worry about us two," she said.

Rena smiled. "I have two older brothers," she said. "And my middle brother was like that. The peacekeeper. I am glad that your mother had that-mine says it was the only thing that kept her sane when we were kids."

Vila nodded. "My mother doesn't share that sentiment, but I am kind of glad to hear that it's a universal thing," she said. "After we were liberated, I spent some time on a Federation hospital ship. That's when I told my parents what had happened at the Cardassian hospital," she said. "I had to. The Fleet doctor was going to, otherwise." She still was mad about that.

Rena sighed. "That seems reasonable from where I sit NOW but I imagine that, as a child who'd already had so much trauma, it was another adult that betrayed you." She looked at Vila-the older woman seemed to be listening. They were making good progress.

Vila nodded. "You know, that's exactly right. I'd never been able to quite place it, but that's exactly what it felt like." She nodded again, quietly. "Thank you."  It was quiet for a few moments.

Rena spoke next. "Let's talk about some ways you can handle the thoughts and nightmares when they come," she said. "The first thing I want you to do is called "box breathing." It's very simple. Listen, I know it sounds corny, but controlling your breathing really can help, and it will show others that you're taking it seriously. What you do is make sure you're standing up or sitting up straight. Then, you will inhale for a four count, while picturing yourself pushing the breath around a square shape. On the exhale, you should let yourself fully relax. Do it as many times as you need to. Let's try it now."

Vila followed along. "I do feel a little more clear headed," Vila admitted. "Thank you," she said. She was skeptical that simply breathing was going to be much of a help, but in this moment, she was glad for it. "I am not sure this will help me in the middle of an...attack," she said.

Rena smiled. "You did well. I know. So to counter that, let's try some more things. The first thing we can do that is fast and easy is to try tapping or eye movement desensitization." She paused. "Basically, I want you to try to focus on something else when the memories or flashbacks come. Tapping your fingers against the wall, or squeezing your eyes shut tightly and reopening them quickly. Some kind of thing like that. You might have to try a few different things at once," she said. "Unfortunately, I can't tell you which will work best for you. It's a trial by error thing, but through our sessions, we can work on exploring which one works best. I want you to call me when you have the next attack. I don't care what time of day or night it is. I want to witness it, if you don't mind," Rena said. It would help her to be able to assist the woman further. She looked at her chronometer casually.

Vila nodded while she spoke. She hadn't considered moving through the memories before-she was naturally a kinetic person, but it hadn't occurred to her that movement might help. She smiled. "Alright. I remember when I was going through insomnia when my first pregnancy was ending-walking helped a bit, so perhaps it can help again."

Rena nodded, and smiled. "Same sort of idea, yes. Distract your brain! We are at the end of our session for the day. You shared some pretty terrible things with me. If you're needing someone else to talk to, let me know. I can set you up with one of the Doctors or other counseling staff," Rena said. "I also want you to think about if medications will help. You can let me know at your next appointment," she said. "I think you might benefit."

Vila thought for a moment. "No one has suggested that before," she said. "I might be interested," she said. "I will think about it," she said. "Thank you, Counselor."  She sighed deeply. It was hard to discuss the things that had happened to her. She stood up to leave. "Thank you. I'll see you the same time, next week."

Rena nodded. "I look forward to it, Lorut," she said.

Vila hadn't returned to see Dr. Campbell the following week, something she now regretted. But her life had fallen apart-after a quick job at a nearby planet, fixing the climate control systems there, Vila had returned to the Starbase her husband was assigned to, to find him alone in their quarters, with the assistant Chief Medical Officer. She'd left, and hadn't looked back.

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Her eyes opened again, and she was calmer this time. A different nurse stood near her. She realized it had been at least a day that she'd been under. "Am I still in sickbay?"

The nurse nodded.

"Yes, you've been out of it for about three days. You're doing well, though. Should be released tomorrow. Later, the doctor will come by to speak to you. I think your Captain, as well.

She nodded. "Thank you," she said, sitting up. The shield had been lifted, and while her first instinct was to run, Campbell's voice was still in her head. "Is everyone else ok? Grippen?"

"Yes, he's alive. Please, try to rest some more."

She lay back, but sighed. What about Ben, though?! They were supposed to be trying again. Was he alive? Most likely, he wasn't. She knew that deep down. What now?

[Tekin Nevir]

Captain's Log, Supplemental

In my career, I have seen the fleet suffer three devastating losses.  The first one was the Dominion War, where the Federation was always on the back foot for most of that conflict.  Losing entire taskforces was commonplace.  The second was after I had made it into the command track, when a Romulan plot destroyed our entire rescue fleet before they could launch.  But those pale in comparison to this.  A crippled fleet, vast casualties, and it was all caused by controlling half of Starfleet personnel.  I can say with certainty that this incident will last far longer than anyone will care to admit.

My own ship wasn't spared from the horror.  Maybe of my older officers were victims, including a few of our longest serving.  And most of our younger officers will have trauma for years to come. In times like this, it is especially important to reflect on the lights in the dark.  Spacedock is destroyed, but it can be rebuilt.  Our defenses can be rebuilt.  And according to Admiral Picard, the last of the Borg once fears throughout the galaxy, crippled by the likes of Picard and Janeway, are finally a nightmare behind us.

Discovery will be in drydock for months, but with Lek having survived this ordeal, I know the ship is in good hands.  My first order for him was probably the best one he had in months... Starfleet agreed to rip out the fleet mode networking. I've already informed Captain Galloway of the events that happened, just to make sure he has the bragging rights he deserves for seeing the flaws that were purposely put in and exploited.

Starfleet has taken the data recorded by the Enterprise and started enacting changes, including creating a new medical branch to work with security.  It had been revealed that we all had had our genetic code rewritten with Borg code, which only was viable before the age of full development; in other words, our youth. Anyone who had ever stepped in a transporter; in other words, everyone. Its been uncomfortable knowing that we all carry Borg DNA, but the technology is pretty developed to restore our DNA.

In the meantime, with the command structure severely disrupted, the remaining Captains and higher who survived have had the interesting opportunity to step on one of the most famous starships of the era...

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[Deck 1 - Bridge -> Conference Room - USS Enterprise-D]

As the Turbolift doors open, Nevir almost had to shield his eyes.  The Enterprise was so much brighter than the modern ships; he hadn't realized how much the lighting had dimmed over the years.  But with the bright lightning, the bridge of the Enterprise felt... hopeful.  It was once the beacon of the Federation; the flagship of Starfleet and the symbol of everything the Federation tried to portray.  The bridge was surprisingly manned by the famed crew that made this ship the legend it was.  It was a childhood dream to be here.  The Enterprise was the first ship to support Bajor.  She held some of the first Bajoran officers for a time. And now with Spacedock and Starfleet HQ a mess, the Enterprise was considered a safe location for the surviving command structure.

Nevir was lead into the conference room, and was dismayed at seeing the relatively small number of Captains and Admirals around the table.  At the head was Admiral Picard, sided by Captain Riker and his wife, and a woman who he knew he should remember the face, but couldn't place the name.

"I do want to assure you all that there are more commanding officers than are in this room.  You all are the first group; Admiral Patel thought it wise not to put the remaining command staff in one location, especially since the Enterprise is very much an outdated ship."

"One that kicked the Borg's ass, but-"

"Will!"

There were some light-hearted chuckles in response, but it was silenced when Patel stepped forward next to Picard. "We do owe the Enterprise for our lives, and that is a debt that can really never be repaid.  But they aren't the only ones."  Nevir was suddenly aware that Picard was staring right at him, even though it was the admiral speaking.

"Captain Tekin of the Discovery, your crew not only fought your own, but you were the only group to make it off your ship and to Spacedock.  And because you made it there, I owe your crew my life.  Your entire senior staff will be getting accommodation for your service to Starfleet.  Commander Hans- Seven, you found a weakness and exploited it to prevent your ship from remaining in control of the Borg, and by doing so you were able to give us valuable time to save lives, not to mention defeat the Borg."

Nevir smiled a bit, and nodded.  And then the admiral spoke.  "They won't be the only ones I imagine, as we sort through this mess.  But right now we have priorities to handle.  Most of our ships have been damaged seriously in some ways, and our crews greatly more so.  We are going into emergency staff mode effective immediately; minimal ships out along the borders, travel only when needed etc.  At least until we can rebuild our fleet.  We need what ships are still viable to remain here in case someone decides to take advantage.  We already know this incident was with two of our enemies. I don't want a third to try and swoop in for an easy win. That brings us to our crew.  I imagine we will lose many of our younger officers due to trauma and injury.  The crews that you all represent in this room are officially on medical leave. This is non-negotiable for the assimilated officers, but essential senior officers may opt to remain working.  We will just reassign them to some sort of clean up crew.  We have a lot to rebuild, both in machinery and in minds.  Based on your skills, some of you Captains will be called up for expert roles in this transition period.  Which current estimates put at six to eight months to even a year.  It will depend on the final assessment of damages.  For now, you all, and your crews, are hereby relieved of duty.  Thankfully most of the drydocks were considered not as threats, so we will be assigning different bays for each ship.  Bring your ships in to dock, and then relieve your crew.  All medical staff, especially counselors, will need to be assessed before returning to duty to help with our younger crew.  Dismissed."

Nevir turned and was able to file out when he heard the voice of Picard.  "Captain Tekin?  Before you go, if I recall you were primarily a science officer with additional interest in engineering, correct?"

Nevir found himself alone with the command crew of the Enterprise, and was stunned to answer at first.  "Uh.. yes sir.  That's right... I didn't know you had seen my record."

"Excellent... we could use some help with the restorations of the Enterprise, and our Mr Data will have enough on his plate with Operations.  After your crew is relieved, I want to temporarily assign you to the Enterprise to get her finished for both defense, and a well-deserved retirement.  Currently at the bridge is Commodore LaForge, you may know him as the curator of the fleet...."

(Fin)