What lies beneath (Juraan and Kyjann)

[Kyjann]

|Councilors Office || USS Discovery|

Ky was sitting behind a neat and orderly desk. Everything had a place and was found in it's place. Almost like Borg efficiency. Even though the space was tiny, he used his Bork skills and Feng shui to make it work in a pleasing, and flowing way. There were a couple of fern like plants in pots in the corners, a nice couch, a set of comfy-like recliners and a replicator. And though the room was no where near the hull, there was a large holoscreen along one wall that projected a depth image of the surrounding star field passing by in rainboic streaks as the ship was traveling in high warp. He had been slowly fitting into life on the odd multi-vector assault ship. He waited patiently sipping on a cup of chai-spiced black tea with a touch of turmeric waiting for what for Juraan.

[Juraan Ren]

[USS Discovery - Counselor's office]

If someone would have asked Juraan why he was attending a counselor's session he wouldn't have an answer to that. Did he think he needed it? No. Did he think Kyjann could help him more than other psychiatrists? ... Perhaps. Still he was walking down the corridor with steady confident unhurried steps to meet the ship's counselor. If he was honest with himself he just agreed to it to prove to the Vulcan why everyone else failed.

Stopping in front of the door Juraan lifted his hand without hesitation and palmed the chime. He waited until he was allowed in and entered.

[Kyjann]

|Counselor's Office || USS Athena|

The door chimed, and Ky looked up from a PADD that he had in his hand. Setting in down neatly on a stack of other PADD's he responded, ""Enter."

[Juraan Ren]

[USS Discovery - Counselor's office]

When Juraan stepped in he found Kyjann sitting behind his desk. "Doctor", he acknowledged him with a brief nod of his head. What gained his attention was a whole stack of PADDs on the man's desk. "Are you collecting these things?", Juraan joked dryly, his expression barely giving a hint of a smirk on his face as he locked eyes with the psychologist.
Having had a drink with him before made Juraan feel less distanced towards him. For now.

[Kyjann]

|Counselor's Office || USS Discovery|

Ky gave a wry smile. "No, no. I'm just assimilating them. Shortly after I'm done with those, next is something from the replicator, then the main computer, after that the ship and finally the crew."

He picked the stack up and placed them neatly on a shelf behind him, like books. On the shelf were pictures. One of him, younger with an older Vulcan man, and Human female.

He got up and headed to the replicator.

"Chai tea, sugar, cream, the works." he said to it. Then he addressed Juraan. "Pick your poison."

[Juraan Ren]

[USS Discovery - Counselor's office]

The ex Borg was good at repartee and Juraan liked the kind of humour he had. It showed in a slight smirk that tugged at the corner of his lip.

"Of course. You forgot to remind me that resistance is futile. A little bit out of practice, are we?"

While Kyjann ordered his drink at the replicator Juraan's gaze wandered about the room and he noticed the picture that most likely showed Kyjann with his parents.
Being offered to help himself to something too drink too Juraan stepped up to the half Vulcan. "Spiced coffee, one shot of milk."

A moment later Juraan picked up the mug that had materialized and turned to Kyjann as he took a slow sip.

[Kyjann]

|Counselor's office || USS Discovery|

Ky smiled, "You know what's futile to resist? This chai." taking a sip.

"So, do you want to stand, sit at the desk, the comfy chairs or the couch? I'm a ex-borg. I can stand all day. I do it all night in one of those confounded alcoves. But were not here to talk about that. So, my question to you is this. Small talk or no? Makes no difference to me. We can jump right into the mess of it all if you want."

[Juraan Ren]

[USS Discovery - Counselor's office]

Juraan was surprised to hear that Kyjann stood even when sleeping. How much Borg and how little Vulcan was the man in front him really even after having been liberated? He should take a look at the medical file of him soon.

Distracted by Ky's questions Juraan turned to look about the man's office. It seemed odd to him that he would offer him his desk to sit. Most doctor's considered that their territory. And Juraan was not about to challenge him for that.

Carrying the mug carefully in his hand he walked over to the sofa and sat down. "No small talk." He wasn't good at small talk, really not. He was no man of many words or to be overly chatty.

[Kyjann]

"I can respect that." he said taking a seat in a chair. Not quite opposite of Juraan, nor was it side by side.

"Let's start with the events that led up to your survivors guilt."

Juraan didn't want to pussy-foot around, and Ky was grateful for that.

[Juraan Ren]

[USS Discovery - Counselor's office]

He had ask that so casually but it really was a bombshell. Well, Juraan had asked for it.

Taking another slow sip of his mug he stalled a few more seconds. It wasn't that he didn't know how to say it. He knew it. He was surprised though that the doc had picked up his mumbled words back then in the distillery on Katra Station as what they were. Feelings of guilt.

"I lived in a labor camp. My family died there. Friends died there. Neighbours, children, old people. I escaped. I sometimes ask myself why I survived and they didn't. Why I got away with my life and others were tortured and killed." He looked straight at Kyjann as he spoke, his pale eyes holding the gaze. He kept any hints of emotions out of his voice, his face stern and his eyes cold.

[Kyjann]

|Counselor's Office || USS Discovery|

Ky nodded and took a sip of his tea.

"This isn't going to be easy. Well, it is for me. But for you, if you really want deliverance from this monkey it's going to be hard. The questions are going to be hard. Re-living what happened is going to be hard. You're going to feel exhausted, but it's all about getting to the root of the issue, and if you've ever tried to de-root a tree....Phew, it's a lot of work. But I'm confident that you can do it.

He set his tea on the table leaned forward and folded his hands.

"In terms of the labor camp and the occupation, tell me about your family. And only your family. Well get into the other people later. What did they do there? How did you see them?"

[Juraan Ren]

[USS Discovery - Counselor's office]

Juraan was seemingly relaxed as he sat on the sofa, both hands wrapped loosely around the mugs to hold it while Kyjann spoke about how hard it would going to be for Juraan. And he was right. It had been hard. With all the psychologists it had been hard. Until Juraan had decided that it was enough. He had tried to distance himself from the emotional attached to the story. Becoming numb.

When being asked about his family Juraan answered readily and seemingly without emotions attached to it. To elicit them it would be some work for Kyjann.

"My father was a doctor and my mother a teacher. That essentially was what they were doing when not havi g to work for the... oppressors. My father tried to look after everyone as best as he could without any equipment.. It was tough. I saw that it got to him to be helpless although he could have done better in another place." He took a small sip from his coffee. "My mother taught the children that were in the camp. Many of my friends and myself too." He paused to think. To remember. "She always seemed to be at ease with the situation and I always wondered how she did it. I think everyone drew strength from her." He smiled a little, feeling proud about her, but the smile soon faded into a sad frown. "It was a lot harder after she was gone. It felt harder at least."

[Kyjann]

|Counselor's office || USS Discovery|

Ky listened and observed. Once Juraan was finished he let silence fill the air for a moment before speaking.

"That's a very sterile answer, and one I was not expecting." he said before continuing on, "Do you know how difficult it is to get people to relate just the facts, and only the facts without convoluding them with a whole bunch of horrid emotions? It's like pulling teeth from a Gorn. Which I can tell you is not an easy task. This is an excellent start.

He took just a sip of his tea. "Now, lets look at what happened through the lens of facts. Walk me through what happened to your family."

[Juraan Ren]

[USS Discovery - Counselor's office]

Juraan glanced over at Kyjann irritated. From all the psychiatrists he had encountered all of them had wanted him to be emotional, to let it all out, as they say. Which Juraan found himself being unable to. He of course had those feelings inside him like loss, sadness, despair, anger and hatred. But he didn't want to show any of them. It might be true that suppressing those was unhealthy but Juraan couldn't bring himself to it.
That Kyjann now praised him for his unemotional report was surprising him now. But not in a bad way.

Juraan took another small sip, again, already knowing exactly what to say but he felt like he should provide the illusion of having to think about it. "I lived a normal life with my family until our village had been occupied. That was when I was 6. I remember my father urging us to abandon the house in the middle of the night, we barely had any time to take things with us. We were fleeing for several days, my parents wanted to reach the refugees camp of Relliketh but we have been headed off by Cardassian troops. They brought us along with other Bajorans to the labor camp of Batal. Needless to say that they beat everyone down who tried to resist." Juraan looked back at Kyjann, his face neutral but there were images and sounds in his mind, writhed bodies, screams of pain.

Juraan swallowed and looked down briefly into his mug before he pushed himself to continue. "I don't think I need to describe what life in the camp was like. Make it ten times worth and you might be a little closer to what it was like." He lifted his gaze back to Kyjann. "Not long after we arrived, my mother had to do 'visits' to the Cardassian guards. That went on for years. When I was about ten years, she got serisously ill. My father couldn't help her and she died soon after." Juraan remembered his father's choking desperation the moment she passed away. He had never seen his father cry, not before and not after, but in that moment he had been a mess of a broken man, weeping without restraint. That memory was when Juraan felt a lump forming in his throat that he tried to swallow down and fight down the emotions that welled up.

"Years went by after that, I grew up trying to cope with the harassment of the Cardassians, the beatings, the physically emaciating work." Juraan purposfully chose the word 'trying'. Because he never had learned to cope. "When I was 16 a group of camp inmates started an attempt of freeing the camp in an armed revolt. Me and my father were among them. But it failed, I was lucky and succeeded to escape but my father had been among those who had been caught. They had been executed right on the spot. I've seen it. A disruptor shot right in his face." Juraan's features became stony, his gaze dropping down on the floor as if it was too heavy to hold it up.

A moment of silence passed. "Well", he said quietly into the silence. "Was that a thorough enough walk-through?"

[Kyjann]

|Counselor's office || USS Discovery|

Ky listened carefully, picking up on the story, the details. Once his patient was done he let the silence hang uncomfortably in the air. He had his reasons for this. One that he wasn't about to discuss, but he believed that it would allow Juraan to ruminate on his past with a different perspective.

He spoke finally.

"In summary, you and your family were forced from their homes, captured and placed into a labor camp. Your mother was forced into prostitution, then died from illness. And your father died via execution when you and him joined a revolt."

He paused again, took a sip of his drink then continued. "Did I miss anything?"

He kept it only to the facts of what happened. No embellishments, no emotion, no drama.